Jessie Earth Momma

X,Y, and Z

...is for eXcitement, Yoga, and zen.

I'm sorry, but I have no pictures for this post. I 'll be honest with you, I didn't put much effort into this finale. But here goes anyways...

Excitement is for the impending completion of massage school. Today and tomorrow. Then graduation after Thanksgiving. I've been so caught up in school books, notes, tests and finals that I didn't even notice Samhain(Halloween) slip me by, and I have taken NO time to become excited for Thanksgiving and Yule/Winter Solstice/Christmas. I took a few moments yesterday while reading my emails about the Holiday Ornament  swap and Holiday Traditions Exchange, and I got a bit of excitement flowing. Can't wait!

Yoga is something that i used to do every day. I stopped after becoming pregnant with my first child. Yoga was something I did for fun and I didn't have the education to know that the practice would have significantly helped my body and mind. It is something that I would like to become active in again. Maybe once I find a job, I can set some money aside for classes!

Zen. Oh, zen. Where art thou???

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging...

W

...is for Winter Solstice.



We have begun to think about Winter Solstice/Yule. This is a bit of a change for us as this will be the first year we won't be opening presents on Christmas day. Instead we will be opening presents on the 21st: the solstice. I'm very excited to make cookies and decorate the house. I have joined 2 online swaps and I'm very excited to get rolling on that!
Soon!!!

V

...is for vibrant color.


Trees outside my house.

Painting at the children's museum last night.

U

...is for unique gifts.

(Notice the wee one's arm snatching the other book while mom had her hands full.)

Claire was invited to a last minute birthday party. Translation: Daddy was given the invite a week ago and it was left in the car so Momma knew nothing of it till the day before.
So early this morning, I got crackin' on gifts for the dual party. Two little girls named Zoe and Piper will receive handmade totes with their first initial embroidered and handmade journals.

I love handmade gifting. I think that it should be done more often. I took a handmade pledge to make all my Solstice/Yule/Christmas gifts by hand. We've done this for 3 years now, mainly because we have little funds to keep up with the marketed demands to buy the new 'thing' of the season. I refuse to take part in that. I get all my handmade supply shopping done before Thanksgiving so that my money doesn't become part of the statistic to help marketers do what they do best: commercialize.

I do wonder if the recipients of our handmade gifts enjoy what we craft for them?....

T

...is for Tea.

I craved peace last night. My brain was spinning and the names of muscles and pathologies were swimming around in a bog of Kinesiology. I couldn't tell superior from inferior and the interosseous membrane from the pes ansurinus.
As you can see in the background, study cards, binder full of guides, past tests and quizzes, and notes taken over the last 11 months.
This is it my friends. The end is inevitable. It is the final stretch. The last test is tomorrow.

Tea. My only way of feeling a sense of calm and collection. A sweet blend of spearmint leaf, raspberry leaf, strawberry leaf, nettle leaf, rose hip, fennel seed, lemongrass leaf, alfalfa leaf, and lemon verbena leaf in one cup was my trip to sleepy land. I could feel the warm of the infusion relaxing my mind and heart. Today I start again and keeping mind I have but 9 days left.

Peace.

S

...is for seasonal changes.

The cold has crept slowly into our home. Candles are no longer heating the indoors. Full length jammies are worn and wee one's have their heater on low to keep the chill from gracing their skin.

Ryan and I cuddle under blankets for a nights rest. Awaken to song. Still dark. Coffee. Creaking bodies. Cold floor on warm peds.

Fog. God I wish i didn't have to drive first thing in the a.m.

cigarettes and energy drinks. how long can i last like this? two more weeks till stress relief.
perhaps after collapse i can once again appreciate the still chill, hot cocoa, blanket snuggles and sex.
till then all is on hold. 
life out of breath running to catch up with me.

i am clawing for completion.
*exploitive.*

R

...is for Raising Vegetarian Children.

This book is fab. It provides many approaches to vegetarianism, ethics, ideology, principles and culture. It may be formed to any style of vegetarian families, which is nice because ours has a full veggie, a lacto-ovo-pesci, a flexitarian and a slowly-converting-to-vegetarianism-vegetarian; and all the definitions of the preceding.

This book has given me a solid resource into my families nutrition and ethical eating styles. Though I am not near my ethical ideal, this book has allowed me an insight into my habits and preferences and allowed me to feel at peace with them.

I recommend this book to anyone with a young veggie family member.

Q

...is for:

This week has been hectic. Sick mommy and daddy, sick baby and a very sick Claire Grace. Our nerves and subsequent immune systems are running low. I'm going to enlist the help of lavender, chamomile, and Valerian to keep this family calm this evening.
As for the rest of the weekend? Quiet time: books, songs, cuddles and all around jammie days. Then Sunday afternoon with Gramma Kathy.

Peace.

P

...is for perfect pansy.

Ryan took this pic a few weeks ago late one night. This lone Johnny Jump-up stood tall and strong in the moon light as if it were proud of its colors.

O

...is for the end of October.

: : :Jessie*Earth*Momma reading 'Wild Child' to the family at the Samhain gathering: : :

: : :Bryson Family Harvest Festival Photo: : :

: : :Sweet home Skagit Valley-Our house is in the foothills: : :

: : :Hanging out with mom and dad outside in the late evening hours: : :

: : :(Leaving the valley-On my way to school: : :

: : :Fog on the way to school: : :

N

...is for "not gonna let the quinoa burn at the bottom the stone soup!!!"

Ryan's mom Kathy hosted a Harvest/Samhain gathering on Sunday. She asked that each family bring a contribution to the pot of stone soup. We brought quinoa which promptly sank to the bottom of the pot. Much time was spent tending to the grain so that it wouldn't stick.

That was a lovely day.
Family. Food. Hand made candies. Costumed children. Stories read. Pictures taken.
Season Celebrated.

M

...is for Mother.


They are the first things I think about as I am awakening and the last things I am thankful for at the end of the day.

They are my babies. My girls. My wee goddesses. My chit-lits. My flesh and blood. My gifts.

Yet, they are not mine. They are but fruits of the earth. Their souls are theirs and their bodies mere shells. Mother is to care for. And as such, I do so. I try my best everyday and hope they love me for what I am and forgive me for what I am not. I chose to be the gateway to their lives. They chose me to be that gateway. I nourished them with my body for 9 months (and then some!) and continued to nourish them at my breast. I fill their heads with thoughts to ponder and I fill their arms with my embrace.

They give rise to my cause. They are truly my only reason. And when they have gone and become their own independently, I may once again find myself a new. But for now, I keep my darlings safe as I can, happy as I can, free as I can. And hope one day they will be creatures of their own potential.   

L

...is for Light.


Autumn's Morning Light

I thought it best to capture the last bits of the Autumn light. The mornings in Mount Vernon (WA) have been cold. I scraped ice off my car for the first time this year. It reminded me of two things: 1. The Autumn frost is refreshing. 2. I must find my gloves and ice scraper.

Autumn's Evening (Fire)Light

It was a full moon last night. The largest of the year. I pondered casting empowering spells but I opted rather to participate in Claire Grace's Harvest Festival at her school. There was much food, lovely decorations, crafts, photo ops, great conversation, mingling with like minded folks...just good times. I feel like a part of a community. Something I've been struggling to do. I feel welcome at Claire's school as does Ryan and its wonderful!

K

...if for off Kilter.

I am not myself. Granted I am a high intensity person and 'stress' is normal for me, the amount of stress in the house is palpable.  On any given normal day, this house is high energy. I like to call us a Passionate Family. Each member of this typical family unit (when did that happen?!) adds their own levels of passion. It keeps us buzzing and never a dull moment.

But, ay, the momma. Intensity has over taken her. Coping techniques  that usually lull the stress factor have all but depleted and she's pulled out the big guns. The overage of red wine, cheese, cigarettes and the life blood caffeine (in any form it may come) have begun to manifest. Though the mantra is 3 more weeks...no more after 3 more weeks...

What was once caught up has no slipped back. With the papa in full swing midterms and the momma in all encompassing finals and nationals, this home has become a house. A small dwelling whose walls are slowly encroaching on us. Wee ones snapped at, attention lessened towards, and sent to play so mom and dad can study.
I wouldn't recommend this dual parent in college lifestyle to anyone. There is a reason that society tells you to 1. grad high school 2.go to college 3. get a career 4. get a job 5. get married. 6. buy a house 7. bare children..

whatever. i am not the societal norm. wait. i take that back. in fact i do believe that i am the societal norm. families are more and more house holds with parents working and educating themselves.

never the less, three more weeks and the momma's hair can come down. oil will be slathered and muscles will be manually manipulated for a wee profit.

i only hope my children won't recall the intensity of the house as it is now, and begin to forgive me for my absence, my sharp tongue, and my preoccupation.

J

....is for Jessie*Earth*Momma.

This is me. 25, wife, mother, student, and....business owner! Thats right people! I now have a business.
Of the Earth Massage is official. Well, officially in creative stages, but nonetheless my business license is official. Just gotta pass the complete Ashmead finals, then take the National Certification Examination for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork and apply for a city license. Know anyone who can design my website?

Ay me. I didn't think I'd own a business this soon in my little life.

I

...incredible.

The feelings I hold at this moment. I'm torn between a sense of accomplishment, fear, excitement and inevitability. I have but four weeks left of school. Finals are 11 days away. These aren't just term finals my friends, oh no. They are cumulative 4 term, 12 months, everything I've learned (and  failed to fully grasp) all rolled into 3 weeks of finals, practicals and exit interviews. Oh, and THE BOARDS.

I am finding myself a bit more confident in my skills and knowledge than I had anticipated. Thats not to say I won't bomb a few questions. But I'm not as stressed as I could be -or will become. I have canceled all social engagements that could wait until post graduation time, and I won't be scheduling anything either. I find myself in bloggerland needing sleep.

Good night fair readers, who ever you are!

H

Harvest

First Apple Picked by Autumn...



Pumkins picked at our favorite family farm...

There are wee ones with pumpkins in that cart!

G

...is for Gratitude.

I drove home in tears today. I was overwhelmed with a sense of loss, sadness, sympathy...? Whatever the feeling, it was real and I couldn't help but cry.
Sharing of personal and private aspects of our lives, I sat with a classmate.  Not afraid to delve into intimate stories about our selves and our lives; perhaps because we know nothing of each other and merely found a sense of comfort or safety in being in the same room.

This person doesn't know the depths to which our conversation moved me.
I find myself feeling susceptible to other's words. My passionate nature has given me the ability to realize emotions inside stories and tales; tragic events.

Drove home in silence. The sound of the road and the periodic sniffs from my nose. I believe today I have felt the true meaning of gratefulness.
Once home,  I find my my husband and his best friend playing guitar and mingling with my wee ones. Autumn, my wee-est babe greets me at the stairs with "Mom-MA!" and the hand sign for milk. (Tis been 4 days since she's spoken of it and her lips have not touched a drop till today. Perhaps she sensed my need for closeness and offered her comfort in the only way she truly could. If only she could fathom the pleasure and safety I feel from her at my breast. How I will miss it when she no longer asks for "mmmik.")

I'll drink a glass (or two?) of wine tonight and enjoy the movement of my little family.

F

...is for Father.

Ryan. Daddy. Da! By many names he is all in one. Watching the transformation of this man into a father and husband has been extraordinary.
Ryan came to me and Claire Grace, my oldest, with nothing but a guitar and the hoodie on his back. He entered my life at a point where I was ready to run away with my baby and start over. He came into my life and with out intention, showed me what it is to find peace and love in him. He is, just as he is, the true essence of a man. He is loving, caring, passionate, humble, giving to a fault, and most of all-magickal. His presence transformed the struggling hate-filled single mother that I was and with the guidance of his pacifism, helped me to become the woman, witch, mother that I am today. He opened his heart and his family to us (Claire and I). He fell in love with Claire and adopted her as his own. He helped me create the wonder that is Autumn.
He is a dream come true for me and though he may be human, he is one of my pieces of divine perfection. I love him.
Ryan has changed the course of my life and has given himself to our family. I have never met a man more committed to being a father and supportive husband. I have never met a man as wonderful as him. Our children find such safety and comfort in him. To them, he can never fault. He is daddy. He is the rock of the family. They love him with such indescribable and unconditional love that it makes me weak in the knees.

E

...is for Education.

"You will go to college. Its not IF you want to. You WILL go. I want you to go. " -Manuel Padilla

My father. The teacher. The psychologist. The trail blazer.

Education is important in our family. I'm sure you've gathered by now that we are in full educating mode. Ryan taking classes at the very college my dad taught at is humbling to me. I still cannot set foot on that college campus with out tears.
Claire, always at the best schools we could possibly find for her. Autumn with her Spanish phrases and American Sign Language baby signs. Me and my insane climb for natural health nirvana. We hardly have anytime to do much but homework and eat dinner. Never the less, we move forward. Not knowing what this blessing of a good education will bring us. More over, not knowing what this education will bring to others we meet and treat.

I have great plans for myself. Graduation next month. Doula courses next spring. Midwifery school? Naturopathy in 10? A masters before I die. I have much to learn and so little time to learn it all in. I have begun to understand what it is to need more than 24 hours to complete what you need completed.
I cried tonight. My graduation is on a Wednesday evening. NOT the best times for my mother who lives in Chicago and teaches at a bilingual school (its ingrained in me!). Time? How can she get that time? I hope it will work out. I haven't been the best daughter in the world and I know I haven't done things they way my mother had hoped I would have, but shi t!, I've nearly completed something and I'm damned proud of myself and I want her to share it with me.  She helped me get here. She gave me this life and I want her to be able to feel proud of me. I miss my mother so much. It pains me to not have her here to see on Sundays or go shopping with or have her teach me to sew correctly, or.....

D

...D...r..u..n.......dare I say it? Perhaps I over indulged this evening. Can you blame me? Dinner with our best of friends: the  Bouey's can only result in fine food, fine drink, children playing, dancing and fun. Tis the perfect way to end the week and begin the weekend.

Alex said to me once: "You can't put a price on a great weekend."

Our families are interlinked by means of circumstance and we have fallen into a form of family. I couldn't have asked for a potentially sticky situation to be more normal. Normalcy. They allow me to feel as such.

And as for the number of martinis? Well, only Alex and Mandy know!

C

...is for Claire Grace and Autumn Cecilia.

This pic snapped summer 2006 has become my favorite of the girls. Autumn was six months old and Claire was freshly five years old. These little goddesses have enveloped me in their mystery of innocence. I learn more from them everyday than they could possibly learn from me. What could they even need to be taught. They are perfect. They are the absolute of childhood; the wonder soul growth. They need be taught nothing but to BE YOUR SELF. And this is what I strive to help them do. Just be. Happy.

B

...is for Books.

Books are at the forefront of our family. At any given time in the house, one of us has a book in hand. They are all over our home. In the absence of the evil box that talks (TV), written words replace the mindless zoning. Imaginations soar and knowledge is learned.

The books you read as a child will influence you in a way that no other reading in
your life will. -Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

A

A is for Altar...

Our family altar is set upon my great grandmother's antique hutch. We call the hutch 'the fancy chango' as my mother calls it. I think chango is Spanish for monkey. We set upon our altar things that represent the season, our family, our life happenings. We put offerings of our first harvest upon the cloth to give thanks to the Goddess (Mother Earth) for giving us food and water and sunshine: life.